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Monday, June 13, 2005

No word yet from Secret of Light. I expect they're still down the solicitors. I probably won't hear anything till I get the summons.

In the meantime I've got protection for the next week, in the form of Lisa, who's got a week off work and has decided to spend it holidaying in Shotley Gate. As you do. It's going well so far - last night she attempted to explain to me why she's been in love with Mickey Rourke for the past twenty years, by making me sit through the video of '9 1/2 Weeks'. It certainly felt like 9 1/2 weeks. I think I must have popped to the toilet during the bit that actually contained some plot.

But I'm planning to get my revenge by making her watch 'Dream Lover' tonight, and simpering over my ideal love interest, Madchen Amick. She knocks Mickey Rourke into a cocked hat. (I've no idea what that means, but I heard Vanessa Fatz say it on TV last week, and I like it).

In other news, I've just taken the virtual tour of my sister's holiday cottage in Weymouth, as blatantly plugged in the comments on my last post. I particularly like the introduction, which is an object lesson in choosing your words carefully...

"Seagull cottage is petite [very small] with an appeal of its very own [no one likes it]. Built in the heart of Weymouth's quaint cottages of yester-years [it's old] near the harbour, it offers you a holiday in miniature [no really, it's VERY small]."

But obviously I don't want to put anyone off booking. It's very nice, really. If you're a dwarf.

Talking of little people, I'm trying to persuade Lisa to come with me to Gnome Magic. It's only half an hour's drive away, but she's not keen. I think the word 'gnome' puts her off. But hey, the other word's 'magic', let's not forget that.

My brother and his family went there last year and described it as "disappointing". My sister-in-law even said she'd rather have gone to Shotley Gate. But I drive past the sign to it on the A12 every time I go to Brighton, and after a year of subliminal advertising, I feel I just have to go. And besides, with a name like 'Gnome Magic', just how disappointing can it be?

(Don't answer that).

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