Well it was an evening of unrelenting triumph at the Devil's Dyke quiz night. Having found ourselves in third place (and yes, there were more than three teams) after two rounds, we blazed our way into second place with a perfect 20 out of 20 on the 'Name the Mr Men' picture round, and with just one round to go, we lay in second place, just a single solitary point behind the leaders. So after a pep talk from gay primary school teacher, part-time morris dancer and keen snow-globe collector, 'L', who insisted on having a panic attack every time one of us mouthed an answer at more than 0.01 of a decibel, we concentrated hard, focused our minds, and gave one last push for the finish line. Whereupon we had our worst round of the entire night, got four out of ten, and finished third. Dammit.

But hey, if we'd gone with my suggestion of Sauron on the Lord of the Rings question, instead of plumping for Saruman, we'd have come second. I knew it was a mistake to admit that I've only ever read the books, and haven't seen the films. People seemed less inclined to believe me after that.

Still, Lisa fared no better, having been overruled on the Paul McCartney question by two blokes who frankly had no idea what they were talking about. I'm still apologising for that one.

To be honest, if we'd got a point for all the questions for which we came up with the right answer, only to put down the wrong answer, we'd have won. A particular highlight was the question, "What's the name for a telephone circuit which connects a group of subscribers to the same exchange?". Lisa's Mum suggested 'party line', whereupon we all laughed, assumed she'd been calling too many 0898 numbers late at night, then agreed that as we clearly had no sensible suggestions to choose from, we should go with 'switchboard'. That wasn't our finest hour.

But hey, I suppose third place wasn't too bad. Especially as we didn't cheat. Obviously we tried, but when you text two different people asking for the name of the Secret Seven's dog, and get the replies "Fido?" and "No idea", you realise that crime never pays. Next time we'll take Tecwen Whittock.