It's my old chum Marie!

She's the one looking in the wrong direction while someone with far more photographic experience steals the show.

Anyhoo, it's worrying when the residents of Croydon start escaping and heading south, but despite that, it was nice to see Marie yesterday. I still remember the days when she used to bring me jam, but obviously we've drifted apart since then. Now she brings me recipes for muffins and tells me to make them myself.

Marie last visited Brighton in November last year, when she told me to rewrite my CV by reducing the size of my address and moving the name of my school slightly to the left. Three weeks later I applied for a job, and a month after that was employed, so it obviously worked. That must be how she got into Oxford.

Anyhoo, back in the heady autumn of 2007, we all looked like this...


Unfortunately that was then, and this is now...


I'm using Amelie to hide the weight I've gained. And before you ask, no, Lisa and Marie didn't consult with each other before wearing that outfit. They both just happen to shop at Goths R Us. Personally I'm more of a George at Asda man. Which is why Amelie's outfit cost more than mine.

But plus-size clothes aside, we had a very nice afternoon. On the downside, I spent most of it trying to get Marie from the station to my flat, after Brighton council decided to close my route home, thereby forcing everyone to drive through the city's main shopping streets three weeks before Christmas. But the good thing about sitting helplessly in your car, watching pedestrians hurry past, is that you have plenty of time to chat. By the time we'd travelled half a mile, I'd got all the goss on Marie's life. I'd fill you in, but Christmas is meant to be a time of good cheer.

Back at my flat, I prepared our guest a gourmet meal of home-made moussaka on a bed of new potatoes. Lisa didn't join us for the feast, partly because she still felt a bit peeky, but mainly because she knew I'd made it back in September, and it had been sitting in the freezer for three months under a bag of frozen breast milk. She's fussy like that. Anyway, I thought it was perfectly edible. If you like rubbery aubergine. Fortunately Marie did.

From there, Lisa headed back to her sick bed, and I took the two remaining girls to the pier to see the starlings. Frankly there's nothing else to do in Brighton. I was quite taken with the sideshow stall on the pier which offers to put a 3D image of you inside a glass paperweight, but in the end I decided it might be better to lose some weight first. Glass ornaments are fine, but I don't want to end up with a doorstop.

Anyhoo, our young guest departed at 6pm, leaving behind a beautifully wrapped Christmas gift for Amelie. Naturally we decided not to open it until the 25th. That's the 25th minute after she left. So thanks Melee, it's lovely.