Sussex Police have released a CCTV image today in the hope of identifying a man who robbed a betting shop in Worthing. And here it is...


I like to think I never forget a face, but frankly that could be Lisa and I'd be none the wiser. I think we need a new law banning robbers from wearing balaclavas. If Ladbrokes want to make back the money they've lost, they should start taking bets on the man being recognised.

But crime-fighting aside, I had to go into hospital this morning. Well ok, I have to go into hospital every morning, but today I went to a department with fewer cakes. I actually had an appointment with a consultant. Yes, two years after first being diagnosed with bacterial prostatitis (apologies if you're eating your dinner), my GP has finally got bored with it (and me) coming back every few months, and referred me to a urologist.

So I spent an enjoyable half hour this morning sitting in a waiting room full of middle-aged men. I didn't know whether to be pleased that I was the youngest person there, or alarmed that my prostate's packed up twenty years early. I went to the toilet at one point, only to find a huge sign on the door asking urology patients not to urinate in case the consultant wants to check your rate of flow. It makes you wonder why they don't just lock the door. Or vandalise the urinals.

As it turned out, I wasn't subjected to a speed trial of my urine. I did, however, undergo a physical examination which involved a pair of gloves, a finger, and a lot of lubricating jelly, after which he posed the question "Is it ok if I check your testicles?". Fortunately I had the balls to say yes, and as a result, he now knows me better than Lisa. At least she has the decency to turn off the lights.

Anyhoo, the upshot is that he's given me a three-for-one deal on pharmaceuticals, by prescribing me an antibiotic, an anti-inflammatory, and a drug to treat the side effects of both. If that one gives me side effects, I'm in trouble. I then let a nurse take the piss out of me, before heading to OPD for a blood test. I've got to go back in July, but the good news is that by then I'll be working directly above the urology department. On the downside, I'll be passing people on the stairs who can picture me naked.